sry i didnt update pictures from the retreat im jsut too lazy...

1st day of school over, only 170 more or so... T_T

it makes me wanna cry.....

junior year...

*Sigh...

i hope u read this.

im pretty much pouring out my heart right now to a person that ive known for about 4 years now. we are great friends and i would prolly even consider her to be one of my best friends. when she moved back here in 7th grade im not gonna lie, i had a crush on her. i thought about her pretty much everyday.  i guess she never felt the same way about me though. but i want to kno if there was ever that mutual feeling for eachother. i kno by writing this im 4 years too late. im sorry for the past 4 years together, there have been so many times that ive ignored you and was just a plain jerk to you. well to be honest its cuz ive always liked you for these 4 years. sure there have been other girls that i have liked to, but always in the back of my head u were there. i remember when i asked u to homecoming, i said if you would like to go just as friends, but truly, i wanted to ask her like any other boy would ask another girl out to homecoming. when she said yea sure, i was so excited. in my heart i just hoped you felt the same way. but when you told me you couldnt go, i was broken inside. i remember after  i posted up pictures and stuff of homecoming on here at the end of the entry i wrote "it would have been perfect if u were there" and a couple days later she asked if that was refering to her. because its me i said nono of course not trying to deny the fact that i really like her. and i ended up removing it from the entry so she wouldnt kno the truth. mayb u did kno over these past 4 years that i still liked u. i guess u could say its one of the longest crushes uve heard about. i hope its not infatuation, but i kno its not because i always picture us sitting on a bench watching a sunrise, u and me with ur head on my shoulder and my head on ur head. or singing a song to you or any other corny romantic thing. as you leave for the next two years and how i hope mayb u can come back earlier. i dont kno how ill be able to get through it. but there is something i look forward to and its a promise i made to you. i remember you asked that we should goto the same college together. ill never forget that maybe u have already but i will never forget those words. i just hope that u dont pick tooo hard of a college that i cant even get into. but to tell u the truth i shouldnt be holding you back. if u do end up going to stanford like u told me u wanted to, go for it. and ill try my best to make it up to ur standards. even if i dont get in and u do, maybe ill find another college to goto in the same state and area. all this inside me is tru and i just hope that u can read this and tell me if u ever had these feelings that i had. im pretty sure u didnt because u moved on from 7th grade. unfortunately for me im still stuck there. remembering the first time u walked into my math class and i was left speechless. i wanted to kno ur SN and everything. i sat with u in class i even remember other girls in our classroom (i cant believe im actually revealing all this) asking "do u like esther?" and replying with yea. and they would say "u guys would make such a cute couple. etc etc." maybe ive been holding onto that even though i realy should be letting go of it. but then after 4 years it seems like ive been taking ur presence here for granted, our relationship for granted and im sorry. the next two years will never be the same without you. after u read this, or so i hope, dont ever turn back for me to try and pick me up cuz u always do because u have so much more ahead in life thats worth so much more. i just want to see u get to where u want to be and be happy. ill always be there for you to pick u up and take u home from ur friends house at 1 am. ill always be there for you when u need a place to chill at. i will always love you as a really close friend or maybe even more. never forget our times together because i never will.
-for you E.K.

-J.z.

some things to look forward to in the summer

-lots and lots of basketball
-summer retreat - Raising the Bar ( ask me if u wanna go not tooo late to sign up)
-Trip to Taiwan
-Hopefully work out a lot
-getting together wit friends (john kim, We gon chill for sure!)
-quiet times
-maybe a church camping trip? ask if u wanna come
-hmmmmmm.....
-a new car xD (i hope)
-cutting back on the computer usage
-and more to come..............

have a good 06 summer fellas.

Im so close to it i can taste it